A few weeks ago, I caught myself in a routine that had been going on for nearly two years. I wasn’t asking God for direction in my life because I didn’t need it. I wasn’t asking God for much because I was making money to provide for things myself. Then one day I remember God speaking to me. Just then I prayed something like this: “God, I’m sorry. I haven’t been acknowledging you. I haven’t been asking you for direction every day, or even every few months. So God, please show me what you want for my future. Please guide and direct me.” Less than a week later, the company I worked for needed to downsize, and I lost my employment.
As you could expect and some of you can relate to, this brought several new things to my life. For one, I felt refreshed. I suddenly felt free from the ever present feeling that I do not fit into our culture, the mindset of seeking position and money, utter selfishness, disregard for spouses, family, and God, all of which I experienced and learned from interacting with people. When I left the office that afternoon, I had absolute perfect peace. I felt God’s presence. My spirit was calm because I knew that it was God’s will and He was with me.
At that point, I began to ask God what He wants me to do now. Not merely what job he wants me to get next, but what He wants me to do. It was so neat to hear that thought repeated at a prayer time after our children’s ministry. I shared that I lost my job and am seeking God’s will. When the others prayed for me, none of them prayed that God would help me find a job — they prayed that God would show me what I am to do next with my life.
I have tried to keep an open mind to that. Every day, I look over job listings online and apply for one or two that appear. Then I get stressed out. Things take time and process, and I get frustrated at limited skills and opportunities. Sometimes I feel like it is hopeless. I keep saying that if it goes much longer, I will just have to get a job that pays little. And maybe I will, but I still need to follow God. I know that the only way I will know if something is right is if I am in a proper relationship with God. The main thing I can do now is to focus on that, and I believe the rest will fall into place as I continue to seek what is next.
Like the title of this post says, trusting God feels different when you have no other option. I know that this should not be a last minute thing we do, but sometimes that is what it takes for God to get our attention. In talking with a friend this week, I had to admit that I have not lived much of my life trusting God. I have not trusted God for money, for a car, and for my everyday needs. It’s so easy just to take things into our own hands. Yet, God is good and has given me a great desire to trust God now and in the future. I know I have given certain areas over to God, and it is interesting to see what will happen with some of those.
I have not trusted God much. I thought I did, but I didn’t.
The point I am making is this: I have not trusted God much. I thought I did, but I didn’t. I’m writing this to challenge the rest of you who may be able to relate to me. Do you really trust God? Trusting God is not the same as living your own life and telling God about it. Trusting the Lord take your whole heart, it requires us to acknowledge God is everything we do, and prohibits us from relying on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:-5-6). If you are brave enough to pray some prayers of putting your trust entirely in God’s hands, I can testify that it is a remarkable experience!
The future is going to get interesting. I’m kind of excited!