Nelson Lee Miller
I’m a writer, speaker, product creator, and founder of Pee-Aye Creative

March 11, 2018

How May I Help You? And Why Not?

Reading time is about 3 minutes.
As Christians, it seems to be getting harder and hard to help one another. Why do Christians feel this way? I've provided ten examples below.

Okay, here are the examples. Please share your thoughts on this in the comment section.

Why no financial dependence on each other?

1 We took an offering in our Sunday School class this morning for a family who has had a sick child. They don’t know they are getting it yet. The grandfather told us if his son knew about it, he would refuse it. Hmm.

2 Someday I would love to be able to walk up to a financially rich brother in the Lord and ask them for a loan to build a house. But that seems out of line. Maybe I’m too proud, or too independent. Maybe selfishness is a factor.

3 Someone secretly left $50 for me when I went to Alaska last year. I have no idea who. Why? I know we both were blessed so far. But who knows. Maybe if they had written a note with it and signed their name, it would have opened up a whole new level of blessing for us both.

4 A dear brother offered my wife and I some meat. He said to stop over after church sometime. That was a few months ago. I wonder what blessings my pride is keeping locked up in some freezer. What should I do about it? We don’t have much, but we eat. It’s not like if we don’t get any meat from him we’ll die.

Why no visits?

5 Another person I know of who has been through many physical difficulties refuses to have visitors. The reason is a bit uncertain. Some friends say it is pride. To me, it seems the person is attempting to avoid feeling guilty for allowing someone to sacrifice time and attention on them. As if payment in some form is expected? Is that a worldly-culture thing?

Why no Christmas carols?

6 I know from organizing our church’s Christmas caroling that visiting some people’s homes is a big no-no. Why is it that? Is there a fear of standing there awkwardly at the screen door accepting our cheer? Should we be less cheery, maybe to emphasize better to their situation? We don’t think they are helpless or worthless. We see them hobble into church on Sunday, or at least remember when they did. They can’t hide their age from us. It’s okay. Just let us bless you and we will be on our way.

Why no Sunday meals?

7 I seem to remember a lot of Sunday afternoon meals in other homes and lots of visitors to ours a decade or two ago. Not so much anymore. Maybe we have other stuff to do when we get home. Maybe we want to avoid the “they had us for lunch so I guess we need to have them” mentality. Maybe we don’t really need or like fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ anymore.

Why no time?

8 When we asked the minister to marry us, he wanted to have two evenings with us all together with his wife and my future wife. TWO WHOLE EVENINGS! Talk about feeling guilty! He’s a busy man already. I felt so guilty squeezing it into his schedule. Like, should I pay him $50 a night? What is their time really worth? So we took them away to a place we all wanted to go, the museum of the Bible. We paid their tickets, their meals, and drove in our car. Are we even now?

9 Or what about the minister who spent one evening a month a few years back at McDonald’s talking about my problems and trying to help. HE bought ME the hot fudge sundae. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Now I’ll live with that owed debt the rest of my life… (I don’t actually, I’m just making a point). What if someone is struggling with an issue, anything at all, and is afraid to ask because they don’t want to bother all of us busy, independent people?

Why No Gifts?

10 You are invited to our kid’s birthday party. Please, no gifts! Ever hear (or say) that? I personally do not look forward to any season that means I will be getting a gift. Soooo stressful. What if they go over the $10 limit, spend $23, but I only spend $17 on them? Yikes!

Why? Tell me!

Why do I and so many Christians feel this way? I seriously would love for you to comment on this. Share it around on Facebook if you want, and maybe add your own thoughts to the post when you do.  Glance through the list of Bible verses about helping others and tell me all the answers to my questions!

Hello, I'm Nelson Lee Miller.

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